The grass isn’t always greener, trust me on that one. You must live in the moment, as hard as that may be; who knows what’s in store for you tomorrow, or what life will be like when you get to the other side. Whilst travelling Europe for the dreamy Summer of 2015, I simply couldn’t stop obsessing over being in South East Asia; I would wander the streets of Prague, Berlin and Lisbon dreaming about what life would be like when I finally get there. Irony has is that now I’m here, I can’t stop thinking about how fantastic my life would be if I was back in 2015. Typical isn’t it. Moral of the story; be grateful, live every second as if it were your last, open your eyes- take everything in, be present, inhale your surroundings. Try not to bother yourself with; where you’re going next, how much better it will be when you get there or how you can’t wait for the future; it makes you impatient, fussy, ungrateful, fickle and fidgety. Be ambitious yes, be organised, make a plan but don’t obsess, be happy with where you’re at right now, your today shapes your tomorrow so make it count.
I am nearing the end of my first term teaching in Thailand; in October I move over 800km South of where I’m now sat to begin teaching at a new school. After that I stand at a crossroads; do I stay, do I go. If I do go, where do I go? Home? Or not? I miss my mum, time with her is precious, I miss my family. Do I just move closer, teach in Europe- my favourite, go to Prague, go to Spain? Do I go back to school? All questions to which I have no answers. So as I sit in my noise polluted, one-room apartment in a 20-storey sky rise I obsess over my dreamy summer in Europe, where I had a lot of plans but little worries and I obsess over my future in my new town where it will surely be better than this. Or not, I’ve made that mistake before.
So right now, I’m focusing on the right now; on the things that make me happy, the things I enjoy, the things I know I’ll miss. My students, the amazing vegan restaurants in Bangkok, my air conditioned classroom, our giant bed, feeding the fish at lunch time, how close to friends I am here and mine and Joe’s little bubble of an apartment. I’m sure when I look back to this period I’ll think of how incredibly happy I’ve been this year and I’m positive, although it may not feel like it now, at some period of my life I will close my eyes and wish to be sitting where I am now.
Breathe. Live. Laugh.
Here are some nostalgic photos for me of that Summer in 2015. I wish we were better photographers back then but we waved the camera around and took photos of absolutely everything. Here are a few of the good ones.