A sober holiday in Pattaya

This week, I’ve had a four day weekend; sound the alarm, set off some fireworks, let’s party I have four days off and it’s been the best feeling in the world. For the bank holiday, we decided to head to the closest beach resort Pattaya. Pattaya is best known for its prostitutes, go-go bars, middle-aged western retirees with Thai wives and its crazy, tacky parties. For some reason though, we didn’t realise that a buddhist holiday meant the sale of alcohol would be prohibited, so we effectively went to Pattaya on its day off.

Now I don’t drink alcohol anyway, but the others do and boy did they let me know JUST how much they needed it this weekend. I may not drink but I do love to party, I’m always the fun drunk or not. The bars and clubs  in Pattaya were shut. All of them. At this point the holiday was looking pretty bleak; we resided to drinking juice in a random cafe/hotel playing charades on our phone (which to be honest actually turned into a lot of fun).

The saving grace of the entire weekend was a 30 baht ferry ride away- the island of Koh Larn. This island is absolutely STUNNING; white sand beaches, crystal clear water, fresh coconuts- what more could you ask for? My friends’ dreams came true as they quickly came to the realisation the island was serving alcohol; a large chang, a pina colada served in a coconut shell and a bottle of Hong Tong (Thai rum) saved for that night later and they were finally happy. My troubles melted away as I floated along the seabed on a giant inflatable flamingo whom I named Freddie (I miss him dearly). Yes I looked ridiculous but I had the most fun I’d had so far.

Would I recommend Pattaya? On a buddhist holiday definitely not. Is it as much of a dump as people say? It’s an absolute shit hole yes, but a nice (ish) one. Does Koh Larn make Pattaya bearable? Absolutely. Did you get to eat the most delicious vegan food in Thailand? I sure did, 5 star jay restaurant you were a god send! Would you have changed anything? Not for the world, I had the best bank holiday with my amazing pals.

Roll on next weekend.

Much love from wherever I am,

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